Wellness

I’m at that wonderful age where life is full of must do’s…

I must wear glasses to see the fine print, I must use concealer to cover the lines under my eyes and I must be prodded and probed in all my nooks and crannies by medical professionals. I’m talking about the dreaded colonoscopy. I went to sthe hospital for the pre-colonoscopy-registration visit where I was enlightened on the dos and don’t of thoroughly cleansing the colon (more information than I ever wanted to know). Just being in the hospital was stressful and by the time I met with the registration clerk I was a bundle of nerves. The thought of drinking the foul tasting liquid and not being more than five feet from a bathroom was lovely compared to what the doctor was going to be doing while I was asleep. After many probing questions the clerk said, You have such a calm and relaxing way about you.

I feel so relaxed just talking to you. I smiled and said “Why, thank you”, never letting her see my internal panic. As I walked out of her office I was glad I was able to pull it off. It has taken me many years to perfect an outside perception of being relaxed and in control, when on the inside, Iπm really a basket case.

We are measured not by what we are, but by the perception of what we seem to be; not by what we say, but by how we are heard; not by what we do, but how we appear to do it.

So, what is perception and why is it important? We have choices in how others perceive us and how we are perceived by others. We have the control to be able project the image that we choose according to the situation.

Perception is the byproduct of our experiences of a particular situation or person. It is important because we are social, interactive human beings and the image we project is who we become. We need to be attentive to what we put out there for the world to experience and see. Like anything else; it takes conscious awareness and practice to formulate the appropriate,
individual image we are seeking. In other words, be the master of your image.

Building a positive perception internally and externally is like writing a resume for a particular job. Your resume must adapt to the position you are seeking. You would keep the initial core of the resume (your basic personality) but change certain information to fit the specific job. Some might say, Hey wait a minute isn’t that being deceptive? I say, No! There is nothing wrong with emphasizing or twisting the language. Perhaps one resume emphasizes your managerial qualities, and the other is geared more towards your extraordinary sales record. You want to put the best “you” out there.

Years ago, after hearing me converse with a group of colleagues, my son, who was a preteen at the time said, “Mommy you’re a phony. You act one way to people you work with, another way with friends and another way at home!” I tried to explain to him, “We are all multi-faceted; very much like a gem stone. The more facets, the more it shines and glows. All the experiences of your life add to the facets, as you learn and grow. The feedback we get from others, verbal and non-verbal helps to make the stone shine and teach us. We are capable of putting many different images out there, while still being ourselves. The more the gem glows, the better. You don’t act the same way with your teacher as you do with your friend? We change according to people and situations.” OK, I guess it was a little profound for a 12 year old and I wasn’t too surprised that he didn’t get it.

Last week, my son, who has now matured into his late teens brought up that conversation and told me he now realized that what I did was a learned art and how others perceive us is important. He’s even working on trying to adapt and change to his environment and the people in it. Wow, kids finally do get it!

We always have choices. Our voice inflection, our facial expression and body language influence how we are perceived. You can say the same thing, but with varied tones and expressions, it comes out totally different. With awareness and practice we can choose to control how we are perceived, if we choose to.

I remember a story that I was told about a woman named Mary. Mary was a very good natured, giving person. She was very active in her church and involved in all the midnight runs to give food to the homeless. Mary was a traveler. She was always going away on planes, boats and trains. Each time she was in a station, airport or ship, she’d buy a bag of Mrs. Field’s chocolate chip cookies. That was her thing.

One day Mary was in the train station sitting across from a mother and her three small children. The family was dressed in old, torn clothes and looked disheveled. Between them was a table with an open bag of Mrs. Fieldπs chocolate chip cookies. Mary put her hand in and pulled out a few. She then noticed the kids putting their hands in and munching on the cookies. She gave them a puzzled look and reached in for more cookies. They reached in for more cookies. Mary gave them a nasty look and took a few more! They took more too. Mary, very annoyed, snatched up the bag and huffed and puffed towards the train. When she finally boarded the train, she stored her belongings in the overhead compartment and settled in munching on the few cookies left in the bag. While on the trip she needed something in the overhead compartment. There she noticed a full bag of Mrs. Fieldπs cookies.

Talk about perception!!!

The Way we see the World Creates the World we see!